I considered filing this in the “Red Flag” category but decided it was just more of a given.
A Narc will buy them self what they know you want.
Yesterday, he showed off his brand new 9mm and 22. I have only ever wanted a 9mm. I have no guns of my own. Our kids each have a 22, he has a couple (few?) hunting rifles, his 45, and now a 22 and a 9mm. He even knew I wanted one and took my son to go look at buying me one for Christmas. He ended up not buying it, saying he didn’t think I’d use it. Saying if I needed, I could use his 45! (Knowing damn well that I can barely keep ahold of the thing.)
Our daughter is almost to driving age. A little over a year to go. She has always said that she wanted a Jeep. She’s not picky on specifics; she just would like a Jeep. I’m more the type that would give her my car and buy myself a new one. Either that or do like I did and help her buy some cheap old thing that can get her around safely until she can purchase a car for herself. What I wouldn’t do, is buy MYSELF a new Jeep.
But my Narc husband always has to have the best and won’t buy anything less. If you say you want the $20 alarm clock, he’ll buy you the $100 one. Sounds like a good thing doesn’t it? Not to me. To me, it feels like he’s saying he knows what is better for you more than you know yourself. That he knows more about than you, etc.
So, she’s said she’d love a Jeep but is not expecting one by any means. So what does he do? He talks about how he needs a new truck. How he’ll buy himself a new truck and just let her use it for school. I don’t know about you, but I’d be scared to drive my dads new truck being a new driver. She wasn’t to keen on the idea either. Then, he started talking about cool new Jeeps and showing her pictures on car sales sites and talking about which ones are cooler.
That’s as far as we are in that issue right now. Thought I’d better write it down to reflect on in a year or two.
When our son wants something expensive, his dad has been known to go buy it and then tell our son, “It’s mine but you can use it.”